Abeer Ayaz asks for suggestions for someone to pair up with a 31-year-old Pakistani-American engineer living in Sterling, Va. “He said he’s a ‘museum rat,’ a history nerd,” Quraeshi read from the man’s profile, then turned back to the California woman’s photo.
“I think we need a bubbly, fun-loving type,” she said. “I feel like he would dig this picture.” One of the six matchmakers around the table suggested another woman, who at 34 was out of the engineer’s preferred age range.
When sparks finally flew for Baig and a man with whom she was matched, it wasn’t over a traditional coffee at her parents’ house — it was on Snapchat.
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Matchmaker Abeer Ayaz, left; Beyond Chai co-founder and CEO Asad Ansari, center; and matchmaker Sadia Khan, right, discuss whom to set one of their matchmaking clients up with at a team meeting in Tysons.
(Julie Zauzmer/The Washington Post) When Sumayyah Baig’s family and friends tried to set her up with eligible Muslim men she might marry, they focused on all sorts of attributes: the men’s professions, their family backgrounds, their ethnicity. All she wanted was a person she would click with, who would share her values. I just wanted them to have the same belief system,” she said.
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“I think that my life is based off of this empowerment that I’ve gotten from my faith.” Ayesha Maqsood, 28, said she, too, has been turned off by the impersonal-seeming process of the matchmaking “aunties” her parents know, but wants to find a Muslim husband. “But eventually one day I want to raise my kids how I was raised, in the Muslim faith. “Someone closer to your own age, who’s been through the process, they’d be more understanding of my situation and what I was going through,” she said.
The matchmakers say they’ve successfully paired off people of all ages and situations, from single parents to divorcés to widowed grandparents.
“Being an American Muslim, being, I would say, an independent, I would think liberal, Muslim woman — that wasn’t really a method that worked for me,” Baig said. Beyond Chai and other Muslim dating services are seeing a surge of interest right now, as they cater to a generation hovering in between two norms — not interested in the customs their immigrant parents followed in the Muslim world, but also uninterested in finding a non-Muslim partner on a general-interest dating app.