Fascinating idea to ponder, and not entirely pleasant….Remember online dating etiquette winking our internal e-mail and instant messaging services are there to help our community members build relationships over time within the site without having to share any personal contact details until they feel ready. The best bet is keeping mum, lack of response is an indicator of no-interest.Take the following as an example: A young woman sitting at a bar notices a man she finds attractive. Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it?
One, when in Rome, and two, frankly it’s a lot easier than responding and rejecting, something I have always been very bad at and extremely uneasy doing.
If you get approached by someone you don’t find attractive, for whatever reason, you simply hit delete and move on. I began adapting to these odd new cultural mores, for a couple of reasons.
He began systematically emailing them, taking the time to specifically mention things from their profile (IOW, not a generic email). I read the profile, and I am very big on reading the full profile before flipping through any pictures (although, of course, the main picture is hard to avoid).
He emailed several women a day, and by the end of the month, he had emailed 94 women. Only 9 women read his profile (the others didn’t even bother to look at his profile). I have ignored gorgeous men who write crappy profiles.
And yet, here I am, convinced beyond just about any doubt that what we’d call rudeness in our face to face dealings is a far kinder way of behaving in the online world.
It’s cleaner, it’s less awkward, and as counter-intuitive as it may seem, ignoring people spares their feelings.Mainly, online daters didn’t market themselves in the best possible way, which made it challenging for others to initiate contact with them.For instance, the more specifics you have in your profile, the more your future partner can ask you about.Yet, the overwhelming majority of the women who actually read the mail do not exhibit the courtesy of giving any response.Men, do you really want a woman who is not going to thank you when you give help? That’s is the kind of women you are likely to find on MATCH. To be quite honest, I think I have dodged a bullet by not having these women respond to me.It’s the ones who employ actual manners, as we learned them growing up, who make us feel the worst about ourselves.